today was one of those perfect days that are wonderful. the kind of day where I can hardly believe I am managing to pull all of this off. I am out on my own, doing what I want, and having a good time doing it. like, the simple fact that I moved out of my parents' house is a big enough deal. I had begun to worry that it would never happen, yet here I am. and I am doing a pretty decent job at it, if I do say so myself. I am paying the bills, but we still have plenty of money to do what we want. I am keeping this place decently tidy, but I still have time to do things I want to do. I am still eating, going to work, functioning in daily life. I have not had a nervous breakdown or encountered any things I couldn't accomplish. everything is working out, and I couldn't be happier about it. it's just really amazing to me, sometimes. and the fact that I get to do all of these things with that guy? life is good.
there are two problems I encounter, being so pleased by the general state of things. one of them is a never-ending fear that the other shoe is finally going to drop. I mean, after all, things can't just be great forever. eventually something is gonna suck hard enough to bring me permanently down, and I don't even want to think about what it could be. the second problem is that I cannot wait for the future. I mean, if we are managing things so well now, just imagine what it will be like when we have more money and more experience! it is almost incomprehensible.
but probably I should just stop thinking so much. I would probably be a lot better off if I would just take the time to enjoy things as they are rather than worry about (or look forward to) things that could happen. and that's what today was all about. just enjoying the simple fact of a wonderful day.