Tuesday, April 27, 2010

counter-spells and all that

last night, Chris and I got into an argument about interior decorating. it started out when I expressed my doubts about his willingness to contribute to the cost of household items outside the budget. a new entertainment center, for example. or a table and storage shelves for the art room. that sort of thing. it's just that he's always buying things (like magic cards) and saving up for things (like a fish tank) that aren't inherently necessary to making this place look like a normal house. I, on the other hand, stockpile my money and fret about all the things we need for the house.

he told me that it was fine, he didn't have a problem contributing to an entertainment center fund, but we hadn't agreed on one to purchase. I though that we had agreed on one, but he told me that now he didn't know if he actually liked that one, that he had just been humoring me and actually preferred a different one we had seen a few weeks ago. I told him that one was tacky and more expensive. he told me that the one I liked was tacky, simply because it was from Ikea, and that he didn't like what he had seen on the internet. I told him that Sauder, the manufacturer of his entertainment center was the pinnacle of tacky, and whipped out my camera so that he could see actual pictures of the one I had chosen. he agreed that it looked a lot better in person and that it was okay if we went with that one.

then I thought we were finished and tried to go to bed, but he stared talking about fixing up the kitchen in a totally ridiculous manner (he wants to completely finish three walls and go back to the fourth later - just because there are some cabinets on the fourth wall that he will have to move) and I told him he was being ridiculous and he - get this- accused me of steamrolling over him in household decisions!

I was outraged, all thought of sleep gone from my head. when I asked him for specific examples, he couldn't provide me with any. he said that it never got as far as specific examples because I just make decisions and he doesn't get any say about them. i told him that, to be fair, no decisions have actually been made yet. the only room we have touched at all in our six months of living here is my office, which didn't have anything to do with him anyway. and he said that he didn't entirely agree with all of my ideas. so I asked him what, for example, he would rather do in the bedroom than the ideas I have suggested to him. he said he didn't know, he didn't really have any ideas about which he was particularly passionate.

this only served to further enrage me. if he doesn't even have any ideas, what difference does it make if I decide everything? I can't just wait around for ten years until he decides what he feels like doing with it. we've lived in this house for half a year and (besides our furniture) there is hardly any sign that we have been here at all. if you removed said furniture, the only difference from the day we moved in would be the paint in the office and the missing piece of paneling in the kitchen. we don't even have any pictures on the walls. even the curtains are almost entirely all original to the house.

my parents have always been very quick to leave their mark on a place. everything is repainted and decorated within, I dunno, two months at the most. we've been here for half a year and there is still a whole room full of boxes that haven't even been unpacked yet! it's just embarrassing.

so anyway, I told him that when I express ideas to him, he can't just nod his head and grunt or I will take this as agreement. he needs to disagree with me right away and provide contrasting ideas. I want to make this place ours as soon as possible. honestly, you can't accuse me of steamrolling over your ideas when you haven't actually presented me with any ideas of your own. if you want to have a say in things, you have to actually say something.

sorry, I imagine that was probably pretty boring to get through. I just needed an outlet for my exasperation about this.

we're going to look at paint and wallpaper this weekend.

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