Sunday, July 25, 2010


feeling a little better about life after some discussions w/ friends and family over the weekend. I'm just trying to stay positive.

Steve and I went bike-riding again on Saturday, but I only made it about five miles this time. we got about 2.5 miles before I started to feel like I was going to die. so we turned around, and I ended up having to walk about half of the way back to the car. I dunno why my performance dropped off so much after just a week, but I'm going to blame the heat or the crippling depression. or both, maybe. yeah, let's go with that. Steve ended up going on after I left and went about ten miles total. good for him, I say.

after that I took a long, cold shower and then we went to the M:tG draft. I watched and took notes so that we could discuss it for the next podcast. yes, that is still happening. we warned you that depression could interrupt our recording schedule. please, just try to bear with me.

after that we went to my aunt and uncle's house for a picnic. everything was delicious and we had a lot of fun. I got to vent a lot of my frustrations and bounced some ideas around. also, there were s'mores. can't beat that.

then we ended the evening at Steve's house to try his pulled pork (which was delicious) and Kim & Dustin made smoothies (also delicious). we mostly just talked and had a good time, it was a nice, relaxing way to wind down the day.

today we went swimming in a thunderstorm at Dustin's parents' house. oh man, it was so nice. I haven't been swimming since they got rid of the pool at the Baltimore Marriott two years ago. it was worth the risk of electrocution. we swam for several hours and then went to Mama's for some lunch/dinner.

I've spent most of the evening gathering ideas for the Halloween party I intend to throw. I am pretty excited about it and have a lot of grand plans. hopefully I can stay motivated and make it really awesome. I have three ideas for a costume, not sure which one I like the best.

oh, here's my sketch for this week. we listened to Peril at End House this week at work and these are just my versions of a few of the characters. yeah, that's right - Agatha Christie fan art.

Friday, July 23, 2010

falling out

hey there.

still pretty sad over here. more things just keep piling on me and I am largely at a loss for what to do. mostly I just want to draw, and I have been. so that's good, I guess. I am trying not to let things fall as deeply into disrepair in my house, and I think I'm doing an okay job. I mean, I can still see the top of my table and most of the counters, so that's an improvement right there. I'll maybe wash the dishes when I am done posting here.

mostly it's a struggle to do anything, so I'm trying to focus on happy things.

it has rained a bit this week, which is good since I have not been out in the yard to water my gardens since my fireworks picnic several weekends ago. from what I can see out the window, the weeds have largely reclaimed the patio. and don't even ask about the front gardens. I see those every day on my way out to the car and they are almost entirely weeds with some snap dragons thrown in for color. even if I wasn't so unmotivated, I think it would be far too hot to go outside and fix it. my aloe plant almost died from overwatering/lack of space, but I re-potted it and it seems to be recovering quickly. so that's a success story, I suppose.

Steve and I are supposed to go for another bike ride tomorrow morning. and then I am going to Magic with him (and Chris) to observe a draft. this will be material for our next podcast. after that, there's a family picnic. a busy, busy day, as usual.

I hope July is over soon. I hope August is better.

Now playing: The National - Bloodbuzz Ohio
via FoxyTunes

Sunday, July 18, 2010

on furniture and family and bike rides

so we bought that armoire, right?

well, let me tell you something. I will never buy furniture from Raymour & Flanigan again, if I can help it. they are less than helpful and, at times, downright rude. let me tell you about it. when we went there on Tuesday, Chris expressed interest in the armoire. the guy who had assigned himself to us (let me give you a quick explanation here. when you enter the store, all the employees are standing around in front of the door. one of them will break away from the crowd and run over to give you his card and tell you to find him if you need any help. then this employee will follow you around the store, keeping just far enough away that you can see him out of the corner of your eye, but he is gone by the time you turn around. it is very creepy.) just kind of looked us when Chris told him we wanted to buy it. when we eventually cajoled him into looking at the armoire in question, the only thing he told us is that we would have to arrange for delivery ourselves since they do not deliver floor models. this alone is ridiculous, because we got the floor model at Fecera's and they had no problems delivering it. I would strongly recommend Fecera's if you need furniture. much better then R&F.

but anyway, we said that was fine. Chris asked how we would go about picking it up, and the guy said "well, first you'd have to pay for it." and he wasn't joking or trying to be funny, he was completely serious. this offended me. I mean, yes, it is a pretty expensive piece of furniture. but I don't really appreciate his inference that we wouldn't be able to pay for it when I am flashing my cash in his face. I mean, I understand Chris and I don't really look like responsible adults most of the time. and I understand I still sometimes look young enough to get carded at movies. but still, a customer is a customer. yeesh. so we put a $10 deposit on it to make sure they didn't sell it out from under us.

so when we went back on Thursday to pick it up (thank goodness for Kyle and his truck) we went to the desk to ask where we should pick it up. do you know what the guy said to us? "you have to pay the remaining balance first." oh man, really? I thought the $10 we gave you on Tuesday was enough! seriously, what is it with these guys? do they really think I wouldn't remember that I owed them a significant chuck of money? and then when we did go out to the loading dock, the guy just kind of rolled it out and stood there while Chris and Kyle tried to figure out what to do with this monstrous piece of furniture. eventually he took pity on them and gave them some pointers, but still.

so anyway, with the help of Dustin, the armoire was placed in my house. unfortunately, it was on the wrong side of the room, since we didn't have a chance to move the furniture around on Thursday. I was afraid it would stay that way forever, but I underestimated the determination of my mum and sister.

they came over on Saturday to move the living room around, install an air conditioner, and generally whip me into shape. as I mentioned before, my house had gone to complete crap due to my crippling depression, so they helped me to clean all the things! now all my dishes are washed and I can see the counters and table in the kitchen! my house looks like real grown-ups live in it. hooray! now I just have to try and keep it this way...

after all that excitement, I went on a bike ride with Steve. he has been riding his bike for a while, and I thought it sounded like a lot of fun. also, riding bikes on trails with friends is a thing I have always wanted to try. so we went to the Schuylkill River Trail and rode from Reading to Gibraltar. yeah, that's right - 4 miles! and then we rode all the way back - 4 more miles! that's a total of 8 miles! in an hour! I am pretty pleased with myself, as I have not ridden a bike in probably four years. and I am not even sore! well, except for my butt. that hurts quite a bit due to my stupid seat. but that has nothing to do with out of shape muscles. so yeah, I am rather proud of myself. I definitely want to do this again. I feel better than I have in weeks; exercise endorphins are serious business.

also, on the subject of workouts and such, I have lost 5 pounds, an inch in my waist, and two inches in my hips since (half0heartedly) starting my workout. not too bad, I think, especially since I haven't been very good about it the last few weeks. just imagine how well I could do if I actually worked out? man. it's pretty encouraging. for now, I am feeling very motivated.

holding out for the wishing well

here is today's sketch:

the title of this post comes from the song listed at the bottom here. I suggest you go give it a listen, I really enjoy it.

Now playing: AM Taxi - Fed Up
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

memorize it

so, july has sucked except for the dinosaurs. seriously, I am done with just about everything. seriously. I've been pretty down the last few days, but I am trying to be better about it. I have acted upon the one thing I may have some means of effecting and I am trying to not think about the other things. life is hard.

we reserved our rooms for Gamesday, hooray! we're staying at the Hilton this year instead of our usual Marriott, since Marriott converted their pool into a conference room (laaaaaame). I was looking at the virtual tour on their website and it looks really cool. also, there appears to be a sky bridge to the convention center. we might not even have to go outside to get to Gamesday. what more can a person ask for?

yesterday Chris and I bought a huge armoire in which to store our tv, since out entertainment center collapsed some time ago. I think it is too big and too expensive, but Chris really likes it so I agreed to it. I mean, it is a nice armoire. and it's actually made of wood, not particle board, so it probably won't fall apart in the middle of the night and scare the crap out of me. so I guess it is a furniture investment. we're picking it up tomorrow, I think. well, Kyle is picking it up tomorrow, since he has a truck. pretty exciting.

this link has been getting me through the week.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

sleep deprivation

my sister "slept" over at my house on Friday night, since Chris was away at some midnight Magic pre-release. I took a few brief power naps (probably totaling two hours), but other than that I was awake from 6:30 Friday morning until 11:30 Saturday night. I don't even remember the last time I pulled this sort of crazy stunt.

because of this, I am rather disoriented as far as days are concerned. I felt like it was Sunday yesterday, even though that doesn't make any sense. and today feels especially like I am skipping work, since Chris had to go to work. so I've effectively tricked my brain into thinking I have had a three day weekend, even though it wasn't on purpose.

I had to drive Chris to work today, even though I don't have to work, because his car has still not been returned to us. the whole thing is a mess and I am sick of talking and thinking about it. I will instead think of dinosaurs. one good thing has come from all of this, though. I have been driving on the highway. I can only use certain on-ramps, and I still only go about five miles over the (55 mph) speed limit, but at least it is a start. I can even drive on them by myself! I am thinking about driving to the beach this year, as a test. it is longer than I've ever driven and it is almost entirely highways. but Chris will be in the car, so it won't be completely scary. I don't know, we'll see.

oh, and here's this week's sketch:

Thursday, July 8, 2010


review time!

so, I went to see Walking With Dinosaurs last night at the Sovereign Center in Reading, PA. thanks to a code on their facebook page, we were able to buy tickets a day early and had front row seats!!!!

let me just say that it was probably the best, most amazing thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. like, seriously. I would definitely (and hopefully will) see it again.

everything was so amazing and realistic. I was instinctively frightened at times, my body reacting of its own accord to duck out of the way as a liliensternus ran towards me and things like that. and they did come towards us. like, mere feet away. I think we had the best seats in the entire place. I felt like a jerk sitting up front when there were so many children sitting in the back row, but I felt like a happy jerk. I mean, come on. I've waited 22 years to see this. I deserve good seats!

if this had existed when I was small, I think they would have had a hard time removing me from that arena when it was over. even as an adult I was genuinely sad when it was over. for someone who has loved dinosaurs as long and as much as me, it was like a religious experience. it brought tears to my eyes. it is probably the closest I will ever get to seeing real dinosaurs (come on, cloning).

do you remember the first time you saw Jurassic Park and it was the most amazing thing ever? everything seemed so real that you felt things might be different if you went back and saw it again? that the dinosaurs were living beings and might react differently if given the opportunity? maybe this was something only I experienced, but this show brought this feeling back full-force. I felt like anything could happen, like the dinosaurs could go out of control and eat us - even though I knew that they were not real. my sister and my dad whole-heartedly agreed.

I just... wow. all those terrible things that have been plaguing me these last two weeks? completely wiped away. all the suffering was worth it to get to the dinosaurs. if I am sad, I simply think of the dinosaurs.

I would suggest that anyone who loves dinosaurs should go out right now and buy tickets. run, don't walk. I don't care how old you are or how lame you think you'll look attending without children. it is worth it.

here, enjoy some really crappy pictures that I took. I apologize for the quality, it was very dark and I was very shaky.

Monday, July 5, 2010


finally posted A Day In My Life (In Pictures) from 06/19/10. go check it out.

Friday, July 2, 2010


his week has been a terrible, terrible week of busyness and unpleasantries. both our cars needed to be inspected by the end of June, so there was a lot of ridiculous car switching. Monday I had to wait for Chris to get out of work and then follow him to the car dealership so he could drop off his car. then I had to run home, feed the cats, and go directly to anime. Tuesday I had to drive him to work, pick him up from work, and drive to the car dealership so we could drop off my car and pick up his. then it was directly home to pick up Mako and take him for his vet appointment. then we took him home and went out shopping for curtains. Wednesday he had to drive me to work, pick me up, and then drive to the dealership so I could pick my car up. then it was home to feed the cats and directly back out to wings.

did I mention that Chris' inspection cost $660? and mine was $160? you may be wondering why in the world we went to the dealership for inspection - well, let me tell you. it is because Chris waited until 06/24 to make the appointments for us. none of the other places had anything open until mid-July, and I was not willing to drive around with an expired inspection sticker. I had been reminding him every day to schedule the appointments since the middle of May. I really do not understand what took so long.

but wait, there's more. ever since we came home from the vet (which cost another $160 - add that to this week's Ridiculous Expenditures list), Mako has been largely refusing to eat. and what he does eat, he vomits all over my nice new furniture. I imagine it is some sort of reaction to his rabies vaccination, but I am not sure. he is acting the same, what with the biting and all, he just also vomits a lot. on my furniture. I do not understand or know what to do about it. also, Morgaine has some sort of eye situation going on. she has an oozy eye last week, assumed to be brought on by a nearby kitten scratch. now it looks like the other eye has also gone gross. I am rather distressed.

then, last night at 10:30, Chris called and told me that he could not leave work because his car wouldn't shift into drive. his step-dad went out there and picked him up and also had is car towed somewhere (I am not entirely sure where it is right now), but he didn't get home til 2:00 am. and then he had to get up with me at 6:30 this morning so I could drive him to work. I can only imagine how tired he is right now.

and on top of all this, I am throwing a picnic on Saturday. a picnic for which I have still not purchased anything. so I know what I'll be doing all night - shopping. and my house has completely gone to crap over the last four days due to my neglect - I think I may have actually killed two of my houseplants w/ lack of water. so I have to straighten up every room of the house, clean up outside, make food... the list never ends. Kylie is going to come over and help me, which I really appreciate, but I really just wish I could sleep through this weekend.

so that is why I have not worked out, entered my calories on SparkPeople, or written any posts - because several aspects of my life have exploded.