Thursday, January 27, 2011

A Winter Scene

Dear guy across the street with two snow-blowers,

Don't mind me, it's cool.  I don't need any assistance.  I'm just standing here in my half-shoveled walkway for fun.  Take no notice of the inhaler I have used twice while shoveling this scant span of sidewalk.  Ignore the fact that I am coughing so hard that I may vomit.  I am fine.

Do you really need two snow-blowers?  I mean, really.  You can't use them at the same time.  Do you intend to juggle them?  Is the second one there just to make us poor shoveling saps jealous?  It is working.

You know, if I had two snow-blowers (or even just one for that matter) I'd probably snow-blow the whole block.  Not only do those snow-blowers look like a lot of fun, but I'd also be doing a nice thing for my neighbors.  And doing nice things makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside - a perfect way to combat the cold winter winds.  Then no-one would have to simultaneously hack up a lung and have a heart attack at 7:30 in the morning.  What a crazy idea!

Seriously though - why do you need two?

The lady who moved in across the street over a year ago to whom you still have not introduced yourself

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