Last Thursday I went to Starbucks with my co-worker over our lunch break. It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny and wonderful. At each of the outdoor tables, except for one, sat a girl with a laptop. It was almost as though they had come straight off of an assembly line, there were so similar in appearance. They were all petite and skinny and tan. They all wore thin t-shirts and cut-off shorts and giant sunglasses. Their hair ranged from blonde to dirty blonde to brown, but all of them wore artfully messy ponytails. Their sandals and flip flops had all been removed and their bare feet were propped on the chairs across from them under the tables.
I was filled with the most intense jealousy I've felt in a long time. How unfair! I had to go back to work while these girls lounged about outdoors, drinking overpriced coffees. How was that fair? How could that be allowed to happen?
I have not been able to stop thinking about those girls ever since. I have been fighting the urge to get a fake tan; my misguided mind thinks that maybe I, too, can live this dream if I have tan legs in cut-off shorts. I know it doesn't make any sense, but there it is.
My coworker thinks that they were probably college students, which is probably true. But it doesn't make me feel any better about it. I didn't have a car or much money when I was in school, so I missed out on that opportunity to flaunt my youth in the sun. Does that mean I missed my chance entirely? It probably does, and that is unbearably depressing. Well, maybe I can sun myself at Starbucks over the weekend at least.