So, we had another bat in the house over the weekend. What's that, you didn't know we'd had a bat in the house? Go watch this informative video and then come back here to hear about bat #2. Go ahead, I'll wait... But yeah, this second bat was not asleep. This bat was flying in a blind panic through the entire second floor of our house.
Let me back up and set the scene. It is Friday night. Chris and I had been watching The Venture Brothers, but I had fallen asleep on the sofa. He had woken me up and told me we should go to bed, since I get pretty cranky if he just leaves me there to sleep on the sofa all night. So I headed groggily upstairs with Chris behind me. Since many of the lights upstairs do not work, we were using our cell phone flashlights to guide us. I had just reached the bedroom door when Chris let out a yelp.
"What?" I asked him, looking around.
"Didn't you see that? Something just flew out of the bedroom."
No, I had not seen anything fly out of the bedroom. I told him it was probably just a reflection or something. He insisted that it had not been a reflection, and began aiming his flashlight wildly around. Sure enough, we were not alone. A huge bat was doing laps around our heads. We allowed ourselves a few moments of panic and then we flew (ha ha) into action. I ducked into the stairwell, which protected me from any low bat swoops, and told Chris is no uncertain terms to "hit the floor!" It may have been a little dramatic, but how often do you legitimately get to yell at someone to hit the floor? Not very often. I regret nothing.
But anyway... I knew the easiest thing to do would be to open the door out onto the side porch, get the bat in the art room, and then close the art room door. Eventually it would find its own way out. This sounds pretty simple, right? Unfortunately, there was something for which I forgot to account in that plan - the cats. Mutz was still downstairs (he is very old and very slow), but Morgaine and Mako were running around crazily, chasing the bat. Morgaine can't really get enough lift to jump very high anymore (she a bit on the chubby side), but Mako was leaping wildly into the air. He was getting pretty close, too. If I hadn't been so terrified by the threat of rabies, I would have been pretty impressed. So there was no way I could open the side door, as the two bat hunters would run right out after the bat and probably leap off the porch after it to their deaths. We would have to corral them somewhere.
This, of course, was going to be a daunting task. They realized pretty quickly that I was trying to get them into the bedroom, so of course they ran into the art room and would not come out. I called them, they ignored me. I even brought treats and sprinkled them all over the floor in an attempt to lure them out. No such luck. They just shot me a look that said "Are you kidding me? Do you see this bat? Chasing this thing is every house cat's dream. There is no way a few cat treats are going to tear us away from this." By this time, Mutz had finally come upstairs, so he feasted upon all the discarded treats.
Chris grew tired of this waiting game and took matters into his own hands. He ran into the art room, flailing his arms around and hissing. This is, to the cats, the scariest thing that can ever happen, so they all took off into the bedroom and hid under them bed. Mission accomplished. Chris stood there in the doorway to the bathroom, looking quite pleased with himself. The bat chose this moment to return to the art room. It flew straight for him. Chris let out a strange, primal sort of growl-hiss at the bat, and flailed his hands in the bat's general direction. Luckily, the bat was not actually trying to attack him and flew away. Unluckily, it flew back out of the art room. So Chris dropped to his knees and crawled back to me in the office. I waited, stretched half across the floor from the stairs, to close the door when it went back into the art room. It did, rather quickly, and I slammed the door shut.
"Now what?" asked Chris. "How will we get the side door open?"
Ugggh. I hadn't thought of that. I briefly contemplated climbing out of my office window and onto the side porch so that neither of us would have to go into the art room with the bat, but there was no easy way to get over there. So I went into the bedroom and I got a spare bed sheet.
"Here," I said to Chris, draping the sheet over him. "Go in there and open the door."
I opened the art room door a bit so he could crawl through, and quickly closed it behind him. Inside, he unlocked the side door and opened it from the relative safety under the sheet. He crawled back out of the room and we cracked the door so that we could watch and make sure that the bat flew out and did not just roost somewhere to wait and terrorize us later. When it had gone, we closed and locked the door. And that was the end of our second bat adventure.