Guys, can we take a minute here to talk about wedding planning? I know some of you just got really excited, since people are continuously asking me about wedding plans. But this is not a "fun details about the wedding" post, this is a "complaining about how terrible it is to plan a wedding post. Seriously, this is a stressful and awful thing. Your wedding is supposed to be an exciting, fun thing to which you look forward with breathless anticipation. I, on the other hand, am staring it down with trepidation and dread. I cannot wait for it to be over.
Most of this is caused by the constant need to make phone calls. This need goes unabated, since I refuse to make them. If you have known me for any amount of time, you know that I live in fear of having to call anyone. Wedding professionals are no exception. So I've just been completely avoiding any aspect of the wedding that requires me to make a phone call - which is most of them. Here's the thing, though: I don't think I should have to be making these calls. Correct me if I am wrong, but if you are a DJ or a caterer or a photographer or a dress shop, isn't it your job to make sure I have music and food and photos and a dress? I don't feel like it is my job to be chasing down all these people for details. Shouldn't they be contacting me? They provide wedding services for a living, they know the way things are supposed to happen a lot better than I do. I am getting married in less than two months and I still have not chosen the menu, I still have not met with the photographer to go over what sort of pictures I want, I still have not gotten my dress altered, I still have not chosen our play list, and I still have not met with whoever will be marrying us. And not one of these people have called or emailed me to find out when I would like to do these things. I have never done this before - how am I supposed to know how this all works? Will it all just sort of fall into place? Will they call the night before the wedding to fine tune these very important things? Will they just hope to get paid a whole ton of money for nothing when my wedding day passes without them having ever done anything? I'm just very frustrated with the whole deal. I don't feel that these professionals are being very professional.
Also: invitations. Talk about the most infuriating thing ever. Why haven't most people received them yet when they all went out together? I do not know. So if I know you in real life and you haven't gotten an invitation - let me know. If I don't get back to you, it probably means you weren't invited in the first place. Just kidding (or am I?)! Pro tip, though? Don't go about it in an accusatory manner. This just makes me really angry. They were dropped off at the post office - after that, it is out of my hands.
At least I will have plenty of time to recover afterwords. We are not going on a honeymoon right away, since I think the stress of the wedding combined with the stress of travel would kill me, but I did take off from work the week after the wedding. And the Friday before the wedding. So that's, like, ten straight days of not having to go to work. Wow. The last time I went that long without working was five years ago. You know, back before I had a real job. God, that's depressing. But regardless, it should be a nice, relaxing break filled with lots of sitting around and not doing anything. I will undoubtedly go crazy from boredom by Tuesday.