Monday, October 12, 2015

31 Weeks Pregnant

So I'm officially in my eighth month of pregnancy now.  That's exciting and terrifying for the exact same reason - we're so close to the end!

We're rapidly running out of room in here (here being my body) and I don't think either on of us is happy about it.  Baby Slurm expresses this displeasure by kicking around in my chest cavity - a sensation I could have gladly gone my whole life without experiencing.  The movements are becoming more wriggly and weird now, what with distinct lumps and bumps poking out of my stomach at any given time.  It's kind of fun to guess "is this a head or a butt?"  My bump is almost always lopsided now, a lot less cute and round.

This weekend my family came over to help move furniture from my office into Chris's office, which I guess is officially THE office now.  It was very difficult for me, going through all of my stuff and trying to throw out the things I really don't need (or want, if I'm honest with myself).  I knew this was going to be the hardest room, since it contains almost all of my things.  It's kind of like I just picked up my childhood bedroom and transplanted it to this room.  And now I'm giving it away.  And I know it will be worth it, and I'll feel better when it's finished, and it's for a good (the best) cause, but that doesn't make it any easier in the moment.  That combined with having to sit idly by and watch all of my loved ones wrestle with my belongings made me feel very dumb and weak and ridiculous.  I am ashamed of and angry at myself for letting things get this bad and for making other people literally do my heavy lifting and for caring so much about the dumbest stuff.  It was a very long and difficult Saturday, and there's still more to go. 

But at least now there's a visible difference, I can actually SEE where my baby will be living, and that is a very good thing indeed.  Also, this whole housecleaning/tidying experience has opened my eyes dramatically, and I think will serve as great motivation to NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN.

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